Emotional Boundaries

I can’t do it!

You feel your heart racing – awkward and potentially painful scenarios continually running through your mind. You continue to struggle, trying to find the “perfect” way to say it.

“I can’t do it!” you mutter to yourself. You don’t want to hurt their feelings – you’re just not that type of person. The guilt would eat you alive, and the thought of that is enough to cause a panic.

So, you agree – because it’s selfish to put your feelings above someone else’s, right? The inconvenience is worth it if it saves your friend’s feelings – at least, that’s what you tell yourself.

You rationalize with your feelings of self-betrayal – convincing yourself that, this time, not staying true to yourself was the right thing to do. However, it wasn’t just “this time.” Denying your true self has become routine, part of your identity.

One simple word could have alleviated all the guilt and stress. One syllable can make all the difference.

“No.”

You are not alone.

No other single word can elicit such anxiety and guilt as the word, “No.”

Many of us grow up being told that it’s a selfish word – as if, by saying “No,” we somehow neglect or invalidate another’s feelings in favor of our own.

However, that erroneous belief has a severe consequence: it fosters guilt whenever we need to tell someone “No.”

But how do you do it?

They’re an essential part of any relationship and friendship, but setting emotional boundaries is an uncomfortable process.

The majority of us have minimal experience doing it, so it feels very foreign.

Your partner has a bad day at work. When they get home, they take their frustrations out on you. Snarky comments can often incite an argument, and you can feel one coming on. However, by being competent in setting boundaries, you can express yourself with assertiveness and compassion.

In the process, both of you would realize that a clear boundary has been crossed.

That’s important because having clear boundaries in your relationships allows both parties to know where their “stuff” begins and ends – allowing a sense of ownership and accountability that often gets lost in the murky waters of ambiguity.

Confidence in Self-Love!

Learning to create and implement healthy boundaries in your daily interactions will build your self-confidence. Setting boundaries is a straightforward way to show yourself the respect you deserve.

When you successfully place a boundary, it allows other people to know exactly what’s acceptable. It increases clarity, eliminates confusion, and, ultimately, reduces arguments that stem from feelings of disrespect.

Once setting boundaries becomes a habit, you’ll feel assertive. The days of cowering at everyone else’s mercy and careening out of control will be long gone.

You will show yourself respect and love by keeping your promises to yourself.

Let’s clear up the waters.

Call today for your free phone consultation: (314) 939-8490.

Together, we can clear up the murky waters of vague or nonexistent boundaries.

Let’s put you back at the helm and implement strategies that will get you sailing in the right direction!